As Christmas approaches, the urge to play a festive themed game often kicks in. Spider-Man Miles Morales, Dead Rising 4, or if you’re on that side of the debate, Die Hard Trilogy, there’s some Christmas cracker video games out there. Recently me and my young son have been playing The Grinch: Christmas Adventures which is incredibly average. I thought that would have been the worst Christmas game I’d play this year, regrettably I was very wrong.
Too Many Santas! is a dating visual novel which features six Santas each with their own personality and stories. As the main character, Sandy (or whatever you’d like to rename them to), we’re wishing upon a Christmas fling with one of the six Saint Nicholas – Sexy, Saintly, Sleepy, Sassy, Sad and Secret – to improve the fortunes of our financially struggling toy store in the Christmas run-in.
Not just looking for some business improvement, Sandy is out for some Love Actually-like seasonal romance. Sandy should strike her desire to be Mrs Claus off her wishlist as these Santas are some of the cringiest characters I’ve experienced in any storytelling medium. After playing through Too Many Santas! to several endings – both naughty and nice – the dating element is very oversold.
For a smaller title I wasn’t expecting a literary classic. The naughty and good endings with each Santa are very short and any character development doesn’t have the wingspan to take off before ending with a thud. Though, the underdeveloped stories are a minor complaint compared to the writing in general which is just incredibly cringe. Lines include, in response to a lady coming into the store to buy a teddy for her daughter: “Do you want your kid to be an idiot? Because that’s how you get an idiot.”. Whether Too Many Santas! is just trying far too hard to be humorous is difficult to tell. Sadly, it’s jokes and attempted sass make Christmas cracker jokes seem like A-tier comedy. Humor is indeed individual to us all and there will be some who find this a funny short story compilation. Yet, this visual novel’s comedy is so antiquated that I cannot even recommend this as something to provide a festive chuckle.
A small positive is that the tales of the individual white bearded sack wearers are unique and do approach the narrative with relevance to their name. For example, Sexy Santas story is all about being macho – and be assured there is a lot of animated ab flexing on show. Whereas Secret Santa’s lying, cheating and general secretive nature offer many questions, with sadly so few answers. The dating aspect of Too Many Santas! six stories is equally tragic and toe-curling, with Sandy and the customers hitting on Santa in ways that aren’t that socially appropriate in the season of Christ’s 2025th birthday:
Visually, this is a no thrills visual novel with stock image shopping mall backgrounds and still character images alternating between a handful of facial and mannerism shifts. In its defence, it is visually competent enough for a budget title, with the goofy nature of the virtual stories captured by its presentation.
I’ve a few more endings to achieve in Too Many Santas! over the Christmas holidays. But I think it’s going to need me approaching the bottom of my bottle of Baileys to find any amusement. The draw of a lighthearted Christmas game may appeal to some, although I do not recommend that you put this in yours, or anyone’s stocking.
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Too Many Santas! is now available for Xbox One and Series X/S, PlayStation 4 & 5, Nintendo Switch & Switch 2, and PC (Steam). This review was played on Xbox One X. Thank you to developer / publisher, Oh, a Rock! Studios for the code provided for review.
